p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize