i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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