Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize