Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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