fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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