quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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