Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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