All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize