spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize