those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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