We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
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it was like fucking gandolphs beard
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
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Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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