Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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