Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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