Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
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Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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