Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together

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(480): U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together http://tfl.nu/9vec

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(205): View more from Alabama

i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"

(1-205): View more from Alabama

if you ask that question again our friendship is over

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(205): i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high" (1-205): if you ask that question again our friendship is over http://tfl.nu/wy8m

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(416): View more from Ontario

I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.

(1-416): View more from Ontario

u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u

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(416): I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck. (1-416): u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u http://tfl.nu/rica

Replies (16) Good night (1062) Bad night (3687) Order T-Shirt
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(804): View more from Virginia

I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities

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(804): I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities http://tfl.nu/vh2c

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(314): View more from Missouri

he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"

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(314): he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting" http://tfl.nu/dmjy

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.

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(508): my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together. http://tfl.nu/95cx

Replies (17) Good night (4875) Bad night (1128) Order T-Shirt
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(406): View more from Montana

It was just a squirrel

(253): View more from Washington

You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar

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(406): It was just a squirrel (253): You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar http://tfl.nu/smls

Replies (12) Good night (5636) Bad night (817)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.

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(973): Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality. http://tfl.nu/dmqi

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(361): View more from Texas

I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.

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(361): I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina. http://tfl.nu/9b7c

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(574): View more from Indiana

First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.

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(574): First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated. http://tfl.nu/ljxt

Replies (6) Good night (1603) Bad night (542)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.

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(541): I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night. http://tfl.nu/6kn4

Replies (6) Good night (499) Bad night (771)
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(314): View more from Missouri

also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!

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(314): also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!! http://tfl.nu/6chb

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(914): View more from New York

Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?

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(914): Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion? http://tfl.nu/d942

Replies (0) Good night (631) Bad night (541)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.

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(414): Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside. http://tfl.nu/lx27

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(732): View more from New Jersey

How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?

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(732): How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!? http://tfl.nu/ssco

Replies (5) Good night (473) Bad night (160) Order T-Shirt

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