There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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