I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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