Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize