i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize