my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
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