just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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