We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize