Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize