I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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