I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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