I like to think it a success when the cops are called
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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