Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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