Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize