the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
there's paper in my vomit.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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