OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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