Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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