sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
And then he peed in my hair
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