I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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