my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize