i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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