The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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