Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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