I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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