How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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