The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We named our party play list daddy issues
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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