are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize