mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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