I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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