In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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