Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
even my farts smell like vagina
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize