dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize