I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize