thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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