i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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