I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
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I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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