Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize