Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
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